Men come and go. Friends are (or, can be) forever. The first time I learned this lesson was my freshman year of college when I finally forgave my best friend for kissing a guy I was fucking back in high school. We’d gone close to a year without speaking because of it. We didn’t take prom pictures together or celebrate graduation with each other. In our timeline of sisterhood we’re missing a chunk of milestones--and all over a stupid guy.
We generally go for different types of men but sometimes our interests overlap. The first time it happened we were in elementary school and both had a crush on the same Latino boy. Fortunately it didn’t overcome us. In high school things were different. I don’t remember how it came up but at some point she shared with me that she’d had a meaningless kiss with the jock whose locker was next to mine and whom I’d been hooking up with for some time. I quickly wrote her off. She apologized several times until I was eventually over it, months later.
So this most recent time around when I found out she (allegedly) fooled around with our mutual guy friend after I already had, I didn’t think twice about it. I knew I had nothing to be upset about because we both agree our friendship comes first. The guy--our friend--broke the news to me in a “sorry to upset you but...” kind of way. I should also mention he made me promise not to tell a soul before spilling the beans. Little did he know we’d been there and done that in our friendship, and the situation with him was nothing new.
I made up my mind a long time ago that romantic flings just aren’t worth severing friendships. There’s a famous Pussycat Dolls song with the lyric, “If it ain’t love it just ain’t enough to leave a happy home.” Although Nicole Scherzinger wasn’t referring to friendships it’s still applicable. Unless the romantic interest is “The One”--and you all know how I feel about that--then there’s no use in fighting with our best friends over him. Say it with me: chicks before dicks!