Lights On, Lights Off

I’ve been with a few men who run to the light switch as soon as things get intense. At first a part of me felt offended. I thought to myself, “Oh! I’m sorry--is my unsightly body going to hinder your climax?”  Once, to test this theory, when Taylor (FWBDRT) asked me to turn the light off I quipped, “Why? You don’t wanna see me naked?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Leave it on,” he said. 

None of us are perfect so why should we be ashamed to show our imperfect selves? When I feel apprehensive about having sex with someone for the first time I remind myself that no guy has ever had sex with me once and then disappeared because I have stretch marks or razor burn. In fact, I find that people are more turned on and intrigued when I shamelessly ditch my threads for my birthday suit.

We all have our insecurities but aren’t relationships about being with someone we can trust enough to bare it all? I think the “lights off” epidemic is partly due to our partners’ wanting to make us feel comfortable as possible (so they can do as much as possible). I think another part is due to their own lack of body confidence. Others just want to avoid intimacies like sharing facial expressions and eye contact, which I totally understand if the sex is casual. 

Or maybe you’re the one who prefers darkness. No matter the situation, I challenge you all to delve into a deeper level of intimacy with your man or woman. I’m not saying the lights need to be purposely left on; I’m just saying they don’t need to be desperately, inevitably turned off. I understand that all lighting isn’t sexy lighting. I myself am a fan of dimmed lights, natural light and candles.

Let’s be real. We can’t stay in the dark forever. What happens when the sun rises and he/she is asking to hit it in the morning? Sex is best with minimal boundaries...and what’s done in the dark always comes to light. 

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