Bringing the men I date home is a headache. There's too much anticipation surrounding the big meet and greet between the guy and my family. From the first time I mention his name to the initial meeting there's a chunk of time in which my mom and dad can paint a picture in their minds of who they think and hope this person is. When they finally meet in person the disappointment and/or surprise is written across their faces.
In the past the levels of "warmth" between my parents and my match have been awkward and dissimilar. From my mom being distant and calling my boyfriend the wrong name to my dad being overzealous about building a bond with him, these situations have been uncomfortable for me. That's why this time around I've decided not to introduce my man to my family...yet. We've been an item for about four months and my parents are anxious to meet him. My mother suggested I invite him to Easter dinner while my dad just keeps asking when they'll meet.
I'm not only thinking of myself here. I also worry about stressing my boyfriend out. Meeting parents can be nerve-wracking. On the flip side, I've overcome my fear of meeting my guy's makers. Out of three serious boyfriends I've met two mothers and each time I got along swimmingly with the woman who raised my beau.
I've learned that boyfriend-girlfriend-parent meeting is less stress-inducing when there's a bigger purpose behind the gathering. For example, my last boyfriend met my parents because he was temporarily living in my apartment when my parents helped move me in. The timing was due to circumstance rather than planning. The fact that there was another reason for everyone being in the same place at the same time took away the formality.
I'm not sure when my man will meet my folks this time, but I'm not rushing it.