Ghosting

There are multiple ways to end a relationship. Depending on the circumstance, some approaches are more appropriate than others. There's the most respectable way of breaking things off face to face. There's the less honorable way of doing it over the phone. There's sending a text message. The worst way you can break up with someone, in my opinion, is by ignoring him/her. This means of calling it quits transpires so often that it's earned a name: ghosting. I take issue with this 21st century dating trend because it strips the 'ghostee' of basic human respect. 

I once read a quote that goes, "There are two ways to dehumanize a person: by dismissing him and by idolizing him." When we ghost people we're essentially saying, We are not equal. I'm above you and you don't deserve acknowledgment. I've been in situations where my friends urge me to ghost a guy I'm no longer interested in. I can never bring myself to do it. I always try to give a straight-forward, honest answer to explain why I no longer want to keep in touch. 

My grandmother told me the story of how she met and started dating my grandfather. She was living in Savannah, Georgia and had a steady boyfriend there. She went to New Jersey for the summer to work and visit family. Someone introduced her to my grandfather and she fell in love with him. She never returned to Georgia, but she had the decency to let her former boyfriend know that she wouldn't be going back. In that time there were no cell phones and no social media. She could've easily disappeared without saying a word to her ex-boyfriend, but she took the high road. 

It can be awkward and uncomfortable but it builds character and promotes healthy social skills. I generally try to treat others how I want to be treated and I wouldn't want to be left in the dark, confused with unanswered questions. Imagine bumping into someone months after you ghosted him or her. What would you say then? How would you feel? 

Let's be better communicators. Let's stop ghosting each other.

Hot & Cold

Game of Love