I’m feeling particularly grateful for men. I’m listening to some especially quality music as I sit in my neighborhood laundromat. This incredible song was recommended by a recent hook-up. The song is reminding me of him & the fun we’ve had, making me feel great. I can’t help but reflect on the small, positive ways different suitors have affected me throughout the years. As much as I’ve expressed feeling jaded in the past, there are some cool ass men in this world and I’m glad to have experienced a few.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more selective of the people I date. I have different expectations than I did when I was younger. I hold the men I sleep with to a higher standard. As a result I have less sex but the quality of the excursions is exponentially better.
I’ve been having grade A sex over the last two months. I’ve only been with two people, twice each, but they’ve been memorable moments. They’ve been fun and spontaneous, mutually beneficial, & mutually respectful. I love that I’m at a point in life where I can have sex in a bathroom stall and my partner respects me enough to open the car door for me afterward. I’m really enjoying being at a place where double standards are being traded for forward-thinking and equality.
“Foreplay is the times we make each other laugh before we even kiss.”
It seems like the guys I’ve been involved with the last couple years have suddenly understood the importance of foreplay, and that foreplay isn’t just about making out for one minute before we have sex. Foreplay is our conversation over a meal or at a bar. It’s all the times we make each other laugh before we even kiss. It’s the acknowledgement of my outfit or the tiny dimple on my face when I smile hard. They appreciate that patience is a virtue and that sex isn’t meant to be rushed. They’re less selfish and more concerned about making me feel good.
I’m thankful for having dated all kinds of people with interesting backgrounds, stories, hobbies, and talents. Some have put me on to new books, others have shown me obscure music, and some generally challenged my ways of thinking. They’ve also just been really fucking beautiful. I’m flattered that they’ve liked me as much as I liked them.
Every time I meet and click with a new person it amazes me that I’ve found another great catch. I feel lucky to not only spend time with these guys, but to know them on an intimate level. I feel fortunate to be in their world, to have them share their thoughts and ideas, to literally sleep with them, even if it’s all short-term. They inspire me. I fall in love with pieces of them and with the moments we share, and they all become snapshots in the mosaic of my life.
So to the men who’ve looked at me the same when my makeup and hair were a mess as when I was done up, complimented the less obvious qualities in me, encouraged me to be better, talked me through a crisis...this essay’s for you. You are appreciated.