No More Mr. Nice Guy
Nice guys finish last and I think I’m starting to understand why. The “nice” guys I’ve come across have all had similar behavior. They’re overzealous, they over-compliment, and they overcommit. In short, they do too much. The hyper-enthusiasm blows me. There’s a line between someone who’s passionate in a sexy way and someone who’s giddy in a manner that reminds me of a young child who can’t contain his excitement. Nice guys often take my pleasantry for some unique bond between us when really, I’m just being a decent human being who can hold a conversation.
It’s impossible to build a real connection with someone who’s star struck every time he interacts with me. There’s only so many times I can genuinely say “thank you” in response to “you’re beautiful”. I prefer to hear gratitude for my quirks or the unique personality traits that make us compatible. If a man is constantly praising me, with stars and hearts in his eyes, putting me on a pedestal, it makes it seem like he’s just a “fan” and then the human relatability is lost.
Nice guys love sending good morning texts. I don’t like waking up to generic messages applauding me for my looks. I’ve read the words, “good morning beautiful. hope you have a great day” one hundred times since I started dating. Or, “just reminding you you’re gorgeous.” 🤮 These people actually believe they’re positioning themselves to stand apart from other suitors. I’d rather wake up to see that you sent an article about something you or I find interesting, or something in reference to a conversation we had. Spark a dialogue and feed my soul. Too many men think they have me figured out instead of taking the time to explore my depths.
I also don’t like when men carry out elaborate, unoriginal gestures that have been performed thousands of times and posted on the internet or portrayed in movies. Nothing dries me up more than a predictable act of romance. Rose petals leading to the bedroom? I’ll pass. I don’t want to get married but, shoot me if a man ever has a ring baked into a cupcake as a proposal. Or gets down on one knee on a Jumbotron during a sporting event. It shows a lack of thought and creativity.
I recently went on a date with a guy who was hell bent on getting me to choose a night for us to hang out. I told him my schedule was flexible and to let me know what worked for him. I like a man who takes charge, at least in the beginning of our relationship. I barely wanted to go in the first place because I’m fed up with dating at this point. I told him, “If you don’t tell me when you want to see me I’m just going to work every night.” His reply was, “If you don’t pick a day I’m just going to sleep every night, lol.” At that point I blocked him on my cell phone. I didn’t have time for the bullshit. Eventually I saw on my iPad that he’d finally texted me back with a day in mind. I decided to give it a chance, even though I could tell from our digital conversations that he wasn’t the one for me. I thought maybe I’d get some blog content out of it. And here we are.
The date wasn’t awful. He had some interesting things to say. But there was no chance of a spark between us. Besides continuously trying to kiss me after I told him no, he was a run-of-the-mill nice guy. Not my type. I like polite men with an edge. Be assertive. Don’t give me typical, basic compliments. Show me what makes you different and worth my time. I’ll do the same in return. Overall, the key to winning me over is ingenuity, dignity, and authentic chemistry between us.