Small Dick, Big Dick Energy
Well-endowed genitalia have been a ubiquitous topic this week as the internet coined the term “big dick energy”. Big dick energy, or BDE, has been described as a type of swagger or sexual confidence that a person exudes inside and outside of the bedroom. One doesn’t have to have a particularly large dick to possess this energy. It’s a quiet sense of security. The opposite of #BDE is small dick energy. A person with small dick energy feigns self-assurance with loud, obnoxious behavior. I think this is the perfect time to share an unprecedented perspective, about appreciating small-sized dicks with hulk-sized energy. Here’s why an anonymous friend of mine prefers small dicks over big ones, written from her point-of-view and edited by me:
WHY I LIKE SMALL DICKS
I remember during one of my first visits to the gynecologist I asked, “Do I have an unusually small vagina?” Sometimes it hurt when I had sex with my boyfriend more than once in a day and I was concerned. My doctor told me that’s one of the most common questions she gets and reassured me that my vagina was not abnormally anything, but that sex can get uncomfortable when you have it a lot.
It was nice to know that my vagina was healthy, but wasn’t so nice to know that this was a kind of pain that I was just going to have to endure. It wasn’t that my partner was super rough in bed. He was a tender love-maker and for the most part was accommodating when I told him that I was uncomfortable. I did feel like at times he mocked me for having a hyper-sensitive body (like, I feel like shit, homie, & it’s actually kinda dope that my body is responsive to the exterior world), but at the time I was young and couldn’t articulate to myself what that meant. And let’s be honest—my ex had a huge dick.
Recently when I was reading this awesome piece about the price of male pleasure and the prevalence of physical pain for women during even consensual sex, I felt this wave of emotions rush over me. I was brought back to those moments trying to tough it out when my vagina fucking hurt, to that conversation at the gyno that I literally hadn’t thought about in years, and to thoughts about the sex life I’ve had since.
Since that first important relationship and break-up, I’ve had a couple more casual relationships with men and women that were a whirlwind of new experiences, but mainly I feel myself gravitating to men with small dicks. It’s not just that giving head is easier or that there are less worries about condoms breaking, but it means I don’t have to nervously avoid saying that sex hurts and consequently hearing the fragile masculinity responses that I will inevitably get afterwards. I don’t want to have to coddle someone’s feelings after his dick just hurt my tender flower vagina.
I’ve also found that men with small dicks are better at fingering me and giving me head. They tend to be more generous and less self-absorbed sexually. I laugh to myself when my girlfriends sit around talking about big dicks as I think about how turned on I am by a little dick.
Once, in high school, a classmate of mine threw out the phrase, “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean,” while we discussed sex and penis size during some downtime in class. I’m guessing he had a small-sized package and was happy with his sex life with his then-girlfriend, (who’s now his wife!). Regardless, he made a true point that’s stuck with me since. My most pleasurable experiences have stemmed from clitoral stimulation and not penetration.
Big, thick dicks can be a drag. As my friend stated above in her argument, sometimes they’re downright painful. I’ve noticed it also can be more difficult to make men with large penises climax. I’m always a little disappointed when I’m about to have sex with someone for the first time and he’s packing serious heat. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I prefer small dicks. I typically enjoy a lengthy penis that’s moderate in width.
Ultimately, men can provide the most pleasure to women by being patient, attentive, and open to pushing the bounds of what they may have considered “good sex” in the past. I believe sex should be all-around engaging. Exhaust all resources to reach maximum climax. This includes fingers, mouths, toys, vibrators, lube...whatever it takes. Regardless of your size, don’t be afraid to bring that big dick energy, boys.