Why I Stopped Taking Advice from Friends
Advice—who needs it? Everyone benefits from a support group, no doubt. Without a core community of friends, family, and colleagues life would be a lot more difficult to navigate. What would we do if we didn’t have people who care about us to celebrate our wins and help soften the blows? I think that’s important. While I love and appreciate my support system, I’ve noticed I’m less inclined to ask my friends for advice these days, particularly when it comes to dating. In the past I’d run everything from first-date fashion choices to text message replies by my homegirls first. Today I feel I don’t have to. I’m more confident in deciding what’s best for me. Read the four reasons I cut back on asking my friends for advice below.
No matter how objective my companions think they’re being, there’s usually personal experience or a personal agenda that plays into the kind of advice they give. A flashback to a sour incident one of my girl’s had may lead her to point me in a direction that comes from a bitter place. Most people can’t remove their feelings to give pure, unbiased advice.
2. Privacy & Discretion
I may be going through a mini-crisis now but once it’s passed I sometimes feel silly for putting my business on “Front Street”. I’d rather go through the roller coaster of emotions quietly by myself or with one super close confidant. When it’s over I’m always glad I didn’t invite a full audience to my shit show. Also, I may get over a guy’s awful behavior but my friends will probably hold it against him for eternity.
Friends aren’t always there when I call, and they’re not always on time. Waiting for people to come through when I’m pressed to make a decision just makes a stressful situation more...stressful. Thinking for myself is more efficient and effective.
Deep down I know I already have whatever answer I’m seeking in my heart. No one knows what’s best for me like I do, because I’m the one living and feeling my reality. I’ve used consulting with outsiders as a stall tactic in the past and I’m over ignoring my gut instinct. It’s there for a reason.