my girlfriend
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

my girlfriend

I’d kind of known all along that he had a girlfriend. I’d used my tool box of resources — intel, instinct, and the internet — to connect the dots.

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who are you?
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

who are you?

The guy I had previously written off as one-dimensional was turning out to be dynamic and endearing. I realized I might’ve been wrong about my initial assessment of his character.

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No Script for This
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

No Script for This

Two months into us talking, he sent me a selfie of him holding a VHS camcorder. “Sex tape on deck,” I wrote back.

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This Could Be Something
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

This Could Be Something

He gave me time, consistency, and loyalty. It felt healthy and like I was finally doing something right in my love life.

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Mouth-to-Mouth
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

Mouth-to-Mouth

My mouth filled with a warm pool of his saliva. It elevated my pleasure in a way I’m still struggling to describe months later.

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TTYS
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

TTYS

“I’ll talk to you soon” sounds innocuous. The problem is that phrase is one of the most neutral, noncommittal, inconclusive sentences in the English language.

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Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

The Thrill is Gone

I tried to figure out what part of the formula that originally produced magic between F and me was missing. It dawned on me that it was spontaneity.

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San Francisco is for Lovers
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

San Francisco is for Lovers

I hadn’t seen F in three years when I peeped on social media that he’d just flown into the city where I happened to be vacationing with my family…

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I’m Not a Liability
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

I’m Not a Liability

The idea that I’m on a constant mission to find content for my dating blog is a misconception that couldn’t be more untrue. Let me explain.

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The Other Woman
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

The Other Woman

We’re conditioned to believe there’s not enough love and attention to go around, but maybe that’s not true.

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The Switch Up
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

The Switch Up

Cooper gave me two words to describe himself — “compassionate” and “confident.” But I didn’t see either of those traits displayed as our relationship ended.

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SLAA Dropout
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

SLAA Dropout

The organization is a great resource for people seeking treatment and looking to overcome their affliction. For me, there was just one problem… I didn’t want to be sober.

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Me, Myself — My Valentine
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

Me, Myself — My Valentine

Even when partnered, there’s no guarantee that your person will stick by you. That’s why I think it’s important to decenter romance in our lives and realize that we’re our own forever valentines.

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SEXT SLAVE
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

SEXT SLAVE

I didn’t expect our relationship to evolve with the intensity and speed with which it did. When we started sexting we’d only seen each other in person three times.

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First Date Wedding
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

First Date Wedding

A few months ago I was invited to be a plus one at a wedding. The invitation was extended to me by a guy I matched with on Hinge, and if I agreed to go it would be our first date.

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Almost Doesn’t Count
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

Almost Doesn’t Count

All I ever wanted was for him to want me back. And this past spring he finally did. One text from him set the tone for the shift in our dynamic: “Can we not wait two weeks?”

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Our Baby
Ashleigh Gray Ashleigh Gray

Our Baby

“Do you want to see the test?” I asked. I scurried into the bathroom, pulled the stick out of a drawer, and presented it to him. There it was. Our potential future spelled out on a digital display clear as day: Pregnant.

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