Miami Vice
It was a Sunday night. E kept me waiting in the lobby of his building for twenty minutes. He lost the key to his apartment and needed it to access the elevator. The key never turned up. Eventually I hitched a ride to the fourth floor with a kind pair of tenants who jokingly asked, “Is there a party up there?”
When E opened the door I was greeted with a hug, kiss on the cheek, and an apology for having been kept waiting. I really didn’t mind the inconvenience. It was a great icebreaker.
Finally inside, I was relieved to see E’s space was clean and stylish. It was a modern, one-bedroom apartment with a cozy balcony alcove. He had plants, a fully stocked kitchen and bar cart, and a navy-colored velvet sectional couch. There was a wood, family-style kitchen table, ideal for hosting friends, relatives, and me, his Hinge date.
My first impression of E was that he looked better in person than he did in the pictures on his dating profile. He was 5’10” and slim with plump lips, black hair, and an energetic demeanor. I immediately felt welcomed and comfortable in his presence.
He moved around excitedly, grabbing ingredients to make us margaritas while talking to me and looking up from his task every few seconds to make eye contact and flash a wide smile.
Before that night we’d been texting sporadically for three weeks. His schedule was packed and it delayed us from meeting sooner. In my experience, for a guy I matched with on a dating app to maintain interest for that long without physically meeting was unheard of.
It was a great first date. E cooked dinner and kept the drinks flowing. We spent the evening talking about current events, our dating histories, and music. We hooked up. He asked me to sleep over but I declined. Despite getting along and having fun with him, I had my guard up. Taking my makeup off and sleeping with a stranger was too intimate.
Wednesday night we made plans to meet Thursday morning for breakfast. I was so nervous it was hard for me to fall asleep. It turned out I had nothing to worry about, though; we had another stimulating date.
I was getting ready for a date with a different Hinge match Saturday afternoon when my phone vibrated with a message from E. It said, “We should go to Miami tonight.”
“You’re not serious,” I wrote back. But he was. Was I really about to fly across the country with a guy I met just six days ago? Yes.
It was important to me that I establish myself as a low-maintenance, fun, down-for-whatever woman in this new relationship, wherever it may lead. Not to mention, this kind of unconstrained, hedonistic behavior is exactly what makes me tick.
I thought about my intimacy disorder and wondered if I was making the right decision. Was I rushing things? Would I get super attached and fall for this person prematurely? Or, would I prove to myself that I’ve grown since the emotionally volatile days of my earlier twenties?
Then my vanity kicked in. I thought, This person has never even seen me without makeup and How will I poop?! I thought of all the things that could go wrong before stopping myself and changing my mindset to, We’re going to have a great time.
I cancelled my date and packed a carry-on suitcase as efficiently as possible. A few hours later E and I were cuddled up together in the sky on our way to South Beach. The trip was nothing short of dreamy from beginning to end.
We quickly laid the foundation of being a PDA couple, starting at the airport. While we stood in lines for TSA and food we were attached at the hip, constantly hugging, touching, and pulling down our masks for quick kisses.
The first thing we did after touching down in Miami was get Cuban food at Versailles Restaurant Cuban Cuisine. Ropa Vieja entrées for two. Absolutely delicious. When we checked into our room at Kimpton Hotel Palomar we were greeted with a view of a double rainbow from our balcony.
Sunday night (one week after our first date) we met up with his cousin and watched the Lakers win the 2020 NBA Championship at a sports bar. Afterward we bar hopped in Wynwood. We ended our night at Scarletts strip club, where E handed me a stack of singles to tip the girls. (A man who respects and tips strippers is very important to me. This made me like him even more.) Back at the hotel, we spent the night having sex and laughing ourselves to sleep.
Monday was even better. We stretched out on the balcony before showering and having a beachside brunch at Malibu Farm. E made sure to get me back to the hotel by 1:30pm so I could get ready for a virtual interview at 2pm. After the call we went to the rooftop pool. His cousin came too and they took turns making me laugh with their familiar banter. I loved that he had no inhibitions around being affectionate with me in front of his cousin and the other hotel guests. He kissed my feet, grabbed my ass, and carried me around in the water. On my Hinge profile I noted that physical touch is my love language; he spoke it fluently.
E and his cousin drove me around Miami, pointing out notable sites on Collins Ave and Ocean Drive. When it started to rain we went back to Palomar and got ready for our dinner reservation with his family. He made us drinks and ironed my dress while I showered. I couldn’t believe how easily we fell into a natural rhythm of coupledom. It was blissful.
I was nervous about meeting more of E’s family but dinner went smoothly and we finished the night with just the two of us talking and making out at a waterfront view of the Miami skyline. Tuesday morning we flew back to Los Angeles.
So! I went on a sexy, fun, romantic trip with a guy I really clicked with. We proved to be compatible travel companions and I even met and liked his family. So, what does this mean? Well, absolutely nothing, actually.
A few years ago if I’d been in this scenario I would’ve been head over heels for this guy. I would’ve thought that surely we had some unique, special, rare bond and were on our way to becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. At this stage in my life I know better.
Throughout the quick trip I was cognizant of the fact that life would go back to normal in Los Angeles. E would go back to work and I’d go back to my topsy turvy pandemic existence in Hollywood. We wouldn’t have the luxury of being together all day and night.
When we left the family dinner in Miami his cousin hugged me and said, “Take care of each other, please.” But mine and E’s is a new relationship. I don’t know if we’ll still be dating in a month, let alone grow to the point of depending on and taking care of each other. I understand it’s just an expression, but the words have stuck with me anyway.
We’re still separate entities—two people with different lives who are just getting to know each other. Yes, the trip has bonded us, but it’s not realistic to expect that we’ll be on a fast track to forging a serious relationship.
All my past relationship mishaps and blunders have brought me to the state of emotional maturity I’m at now—a state of living in the present and taking things as they come.
I’m grateful for the memories we made in Miami. During a time when so many are struggling, I’m appreciative that I was able to slip away and have an unexpected, sweet, loving respite from the chaos. I look forward to seeing what will come of my connection with E, but in the mean time I’m still swiping on Hinge.
