A Week in My Life

A brief account of a week in my life as a 30-year-old Angeleno, inspired by The Cut’s ‘Sex Diaries’

DAY 1

1pm It’s my last day off after a work hiatus and I’m finally seeing Blake tonight. We usually connect every few days and it’s been almost a week, so I’m ready. I do laundry so I have fresh sheets to have sex with him on.

3:30pm I post a suggestive Instagram story with a picture of my clean linen and reference getting it dirty with a partner. Cole watches it and I want to kick myself for being so careless. I do damage control and he goes along with it, but my cover’s probably blown. 

I’m free to do what I want because neither of these men have asked me to be exclusive, but I always want to be respectful. We make plans to reunite this weekend. He recently moved back to the west coast and it’s been a full year since we’ve seen each other!

6pm Get text from Blake, who says he’ll be done with work around 10pm and asks if I want him to “swing by” afterward. He tells me he’s had a crazy couple days and sends a sleepy emoji. I reply that if he doesn’t feel up to hanging out I’ll understand. 

“I want to come,” he assures me, which elates me. We’ve come a long way since we met over three years ago — he used to be a huge flake and I still feel the posttraumatic stress of it.

9:30 Blake’s here and all's right with the world — until he tells me that next week he’s going overseas for a month to work and do other miscellaneous things. I keep my cool but internally I’m already feeling separation anxiety. 

10:30pm I sit on his lap and kiss him before we move things to the bed. I put on a Kings of Leon playlist. Our sex is always simple and intimate. We have a go-to position which feels both familiar and different every time.

11:30pm We spend time appreciating each other post-sex before he heads home. He tells me he wants to see me again before his trip. I say “K,” while thinking of my plans with Cole. I hope I can swing both.  

Trust — you don’t want to see this face

DAY 2

7:30pm My uncle is in town and the evening starts innocently with dinner and drinks. 

8:50pm I’m tipsy and want affection and sex. I text Blake and ask if he can come over. He says he can’t but is free Saturday. I tell him I can’t Saturday and he sends back a sad face.

10:30pm I’m drunk, doing ***** of miscellaneous ***** in a bathroom stall before dancing on a small stage at a gay bar in West Hollywood. My uncle holds my blazer and purse while I pull out some old stripper moves for an appreciative crowd.

11:00pm I get an unexpected text from Cole, who tells me he’s in the city and asks if I want to meet up. I absolutely do.

12:10am I leave with Cole

DAY 3  

6:50am Wake up hungover and piece together my wild ass night. I remember starting to have sex right before I blacked out. Yikes.

7am Begin a mentally grueling work shift from bed. I work from home writing entertainment news for a media outlet and I’m a month and a half into this job, which is my first “real” job as an adult (even though I’m 30-years-old). 

8am Submit my first story and my editor contacts me shortly after to let me know I’ve left out a chunk of details. Fuuuuuuuuck. I apologize in the most professional way I know how and try to sharpen my focus until I can nap during my lunch break.

6:30pm Text Blake and ask if Saturday’s the only time I can see him before he leaves for a few weeks. He says it is and adds, “I’m not sure how else we can fit it in.” I appreciate the “we” in place of “I” but wonder if it’s strategic. I shouldn’t be such a softy, but I tell him I’ll rearrange my schedule. I’m constantly worried that each time I see him will be the last…it’s a fear of abandonment.

7:30pm Order Mexican food and finally start to feel normal

DAY 4  

8am I wake up an hour and a half before my alarm goes off and debate whether or not I feel like going to the nail salon before I start work at 12. 

9am I decide to go after scarfing down a leftover chicken enchilada from the night before.

11am Arrive home to find a PR package of jewelry waiting for me — a wonderful perk of the new gig. I lay the items out and snap a pic for my Insta story, making sure to tag the brand and thank them. It’s good etiquette. 

12:45pm At a hair appointment with my laptop in tow, still working. I look forward to seeing Blake tonight and that motivates me through the work day.

8pm I haven’t heard from him, so I text and ask if he’s still coming. He replies and says, “Sorry don’t think I’m making it, dealing with this Australia bullshit. [The country] won’t let me in.” I’m both pissed off and hurt. I cancelled on Cole to see him. It reminds me that our relationship is imbalanced and unsustainable. I ponder how long I can keep doing this.

DAY 5

9am I wake up to a gloomy, overcast morning and in a weird mood because my night didn’t go as planned. It’s the weekend but that means nothing because I work today at noon. I open my usual apps — Instagram, Hinge, Apple News — to see what I missed during my slumber.

11am Cook breakfast to fuel for my 9-hour shift. There’s an awards show tonight so I’m curious to see what the digital newsroom will be like in the midst of a live event.

11:30am Get back in bed with my breakfast of rice, beans, and a fried egg with cheese...take a few moments to clear my head.

12pm Log in and begin working. I have the next two days off so I push through my shift with that in mind.

6:15pm Eat a yogurt then watch porn and masturbate on my dinner break.

11pm Do some blogging before bed. My relationship with Blake feels uncertain, but writing about it is cathartic.

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